Thursday, 3 April 2014

Club Deportivo Morón and other teams with great names

Instead of your generic Town or City names, possibly with United or Athletic thrown on at the end, some football clubs around the World have some more impressive names...

Club dep moron crest.png
Club Deportivo Morón, Argentina
Admittedly, this is a club based in the City of Morón, Buenos Aires, so this clubs inclusion is more due to Argentina having better city names than those in the UK. Not quite sure how you'd tell people outside of Argentina that you've just signed for a club with the name moron in it though. 

Hallelujah FC, South Korea
Sadly this club was dissolved in 1998 due to a financial crisis in Asia. In 1983 the club won the inaugural Korea Super League and was originally consisted of Christian players and coaches. I imagine the chants at the game would have been magical.

The Strongest, Bolivia 
altThe alpha male of club names. Every weak one unfortunate team in Bolivia has to say that they are playing 'The Strongest in the league'. The club is the oldest active football club in Bolivia and the only team to have played continuously in the country's top Division for longer than a century. In 1930 they became the only team ever to win the Bolivian league without conceding a goal, so clearly their defence was the strongest... 

Mysterious Dwarfs, Ghana
Ebusua Dwarfs logo.pngOr their full name: Essienimpong Cape-Coast Mysterious Dwarfs Ebusua Dwarfs, were founded in 1939 and are a current member of the Ghana Premier League. 

Weston Workers Bears FC, Australia
Logo.An Australian semi-professional 'soccer' team. Their club colours are black and white after a geordie called Bill Hindmarsh joined the club in 1909 and was hugely popular. Their logo appears to be two bears fighting. What more do you need?

Club Destroyers, Bolivia
logoAnother aggressive sounding club from Bolivia. A Santa Cruz based club who currently play in a 3rd division regional league. So clearly out the the alpha team names The Strongest are the strongest.

FL Fart, Norway
FL Fart.gifAn unfortunate name, and possibly an even more unfortunate stadium, named Fartbana. Founded in 1917, dissolved in 1926 but then refounded in 1934. Apparently the teams name means "the football team speed". But i'm not convinced.

Friday, 28 March 2014

Lilian Thuram chosen as the face of Google Glass

Lilian Thuram is going to be the face of Google Glass, it has been announced.

Thuram has been chosen as he is a 'natural born winner', having won 12 honours with club and country, as well as looking pretty stylish whilst sporting the high tech specs.

Thuram was given a demonstration of what Google Glass can do, it is reported that he looked himself up on Wikipedia and watched highlights of the 1998 World Cup.
"Damn, I was good."
Expect to see a lot more of Lilian Thuram looking very smart and sophisticated in Google Glasses as they come closer to being released.

Tackling Sport managed to get an exclusive quote from Mr Thuram after he tested the glasses and we can confirm he thinks that they are 'trés bon!'.

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Wembley set for biggest fight since Millwall FA Cup semi final

It has been announced that Karl Froch and Geeorge Groves will have their long awaited rematch at Wembley Stadium.

The super-middlewight bout will take place on the 31st May, but it won't be the first big fight to take place at the national football stadium.

In April last year, at the FA Cup semi-final between Millwall and Wigan, ugly scenes broke out as Millwall fans decided to attack... other Millwall fans. The fighting resulted in numerous arrests, bleeding faces, a crying girl and one cheeky chap stealing a policeman's hat.
Froch and Groves will be looking to claim the title of 'best fight at new Wembley', and I think they might just get it.

Monday, 3 March 2014

Children of Hoffenheim traumatized as mascot loses head

The Bundesliga, the hipsters choice when it comes to football leagues. It has the European Champions, Pep Guardiola, standing terraces, cheap tickets and a wealth of exciting, young, homegrown talent. But it is not a safe place for children...

During Hoffenheim's 6-1 demolition of Wolfsburg last weekend, as they scored to go 4-1 up, the celebrations got a little too out of hand. The Hoffenheim mascot, cleverly name Hoffi, ran over to the players to revel in their success.

But the big moose was a little bit too eager in joining in and managed to tumble over an advertisment whilst racing towards the players. As the mighty moose made impact with the floor, disaster struck, the head of the mascot rolled off, revealing the true identity of Hoffi the moose.

In an instant, thousands of children were mentally scarred. Never again would they look adoringly at Hoffi the moose in the same way again. Some parents tried to shield their children's glaze from the horrific incident. It was too late.

Roberto Firmino was first to the scene to reattach the head of the moose. But the damage had been done. No one would forget what they saw that day. The victory had been tainted.

Saturday, 15 February 2014

This is Zlatan Ibrahimović

I have just finished reading 'I am Zlatan'. I recommend every football fan reads it. So much so that I am going to dedicate an entire post to the man.

Firstly, here are a few interesting things from his autobiography for those of you too lazy to read:
  • It takes until the 2nd page for Ibra to say 'I am awesome'
  • When he was in his youth, Zlatan used to steal bikes, a lot
  • He once threw an egg at a prostitute, and hit her in the head
  • He doesn't like Pep Guardiola
  • He does like Capello and Mourinho 
  • When Patrick Vieira joined Inter Milan, the 1st thing Zlatan said to him in training was "give me the fucking ball!"
  • He had a training ground fight witOguchi Onyewu - 'Onyewu resembled a heavyweight boxer. He was nearly 6ft 5in and weighed over 15 stone, but he couldn't handle me'
  • After winning Serie A with AC Milan he kicked Antonio Cassano in the head to celebrate
The list could go on...

Until recently, Ibrahimović has often been seen as over rated in the UK, I think the stats speak for themselves:
Games: 643
Goals: 326
Titles: 20 (although two were revoked in the Juve match fixing scandal)

The man has a combined transfer value of £150m
He has scored for 6 different clubs in the Champions League, a record
He has scored in El Clasico and the Milan derby (for both Inter and AC)
He has won the league title in Holland, Italy, Spain and France
He has been voted the Swedish footballer of the year (Guldbollen) 8 out of the last 9 years

Ibrahimović must be one of the very few footballers that has YouTube compilations purely dedicated to back heeled goals. Including this, which was scored in the final game of the season to clinch the golden boot (known as the Capocannoniere in Italy), out scoring Diego Milito and Marco Di Vaio. Smooth operator. 

He is also probably the only footballer to have their name in the dictionary, with 'zlatanera', meaning 'to dominate' being added to the Swedish dictionary in 2012.

He isn't just taking over the dictionary in Sweden, he is also taking over the postal service. With a Zlatan stamp to be released in Sweden on 27th March 2014. This is what he had to say on the matter "I get a lot of bills and there are rarely great stamps. Maybe that will change now!". Modest as always.
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Not only does the man have vocabulary, stamps and titles in his locker. He also has a great array of facial expressions

'The many faces of Zlatan'

But don't be too intimidated by the great Swede, he is human...

Zlat's all folks!

Friday, 25 October 2013

What's the Arabic for 'the referee's a wanker'?

Saad Al Fadhli has officially won the title of 'world's worst referee'. 

In a Kuwaiti Premier League game, after awarding a penalty kick the referee was given a small shove by an Al Naser player, who clearly didn't agree with the decision. 

Saad Al Fadhli was clearly not happy about being shoved or surrounded by angry Al Naser players. So took matter into his own hands, literally.

After pushing a couple of players away, the referee then hit one player in the face, whilst also brandishing the red card to anyone he could. 

But he wasn't finished. He also kicked another Al Naser player whilst hiding behind an official, and promptly sent them off too. 

Al Arabi eventually took and scored the penalty. The kick off that followed resulted in more chaos as one of the few remaining Al Naser players decided to seek revenge by booting the ball straight at the ref from near point blank range. Unsurprisingly, he was instantly sent off.

The whole calamitous episode can be seen right here

Sunday, 29 September 2013

Cameron uses MI5 agents to exact revenge on Manu Tuilagi

David Cameron turned to the MI5 to seek revenge on Manu Tuilagi, video evidence suggests.

After being publicly humiliated by the Leicester, England and Lions center, Cameron has been on a mission to make sure that Tuilagi gets his just deserts.

Sleepless nights, missing parliament and a short temper had been all too common since the traumatic incident.

The incident occurred at 10 Downing Street, where Cameron usually feels safest. As the Prime Minister stood outside the famous No.10 door alongside the victorious British & Irish Lions after their success in Australia, it happened. It was almost over before it even begun, it lasted a mere couple of seconds, but the damage was done.

Manu Tuilagi raised his index and middle finger behind the head of the Prime Minister and made the dreaded bunny ears gesture.
'Just a bit of banta'
The Prime Minister, general public and tabloids were outraged. Cameron had one thing on his mind. Revenge. Bloody revenge.

Cameron reportedly came up with a number of crack pot plans including an exploding rugby ball before turning to the MI5. It is reported that Cameron gave the MI5 £1bn of tax payers money to send their best secret agent to seek revenge. The agent is believed to be Jack Quinton, who was pulled out of Iraq to carry out the mission of sweet, sweet revenge.

Money well spent. I think you'll agree.

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

The Footballing Fashonistas 2013/14

Every summer the excitement for the new season starts with the slow trickle of new kits being release.

Some clubs get generic manufacturer templates whereas others get new designs or centenary kits.

I've briefly scanned the new kits from around the world (mostly Europe...) with my fashion guru goggles on and have selected 6 of my favourite new kits for this season.

Real Sociedad (away shirt)
I like my football shirts like I like my coffee. Black. Not yet with a sponsor, the Real Sociedad away kit is the epitome of simplicity. As referees are no longer stuck to wearing black kits, I'd like to see more teams wear black. A kit colour that has been made iconic by the New Zealand Rugby team. If Real Sociedad want to go further to copy the All Blacks then I would recommend that they start practising the Haka.

Napoli (3rd kit)
2013-14 Napoli Authentic Away Match ShirtThe most controversial kit on my list is the Napoli, Balotelli inspired 3rd kit. A camouflage style not too dissimilar to the Everton goalkeeper kit from a couple of seasons ago.Unfortunately as a 3rd kit, it's unlikely that we'll be seeing a lot of this kit. However we can expect to see it (or not, if the camouflage actually works) in Napoli's European games!

FC Parma (centenary home kit)

Who doesn't love a retro football kit? Parma have released a retro shirt to celebrate their centenary year as a club after being founded in 1913. Big collars, thick shirts and long sleeves. This kit is a beaut. Unfortunately this kit won't actually be worn by the players in the league, but it is available to fans to buy.

Club América (home kit)

This dashing yellow shirt is the ultimate 'his and her' footballing top. With Corona sponsored on the back, this shirt is sure to get the attention of beer thirsty lads, whilst the front sponsor 'Bimbo' is perfect for any WAG.... It actually turns out Group Bimbo is the largest Mexican owned baking company. Nothing to do with ditsy women. The shirt also contains a Coca Cola sponsor for the children. So this shirt is perfect for all the family.

Club Atlético River Plate (home shirt)
The first and only appearance in this incredibly prestigious list for Addidas. This shirt is the footballing equivalent of a can of Red Stripe. Delighting hipsters across Argentina and the world over. The red band features a design in relief of Monumental, the home stadium of River Plate and the largest stadium in Argentina. The back of the collar features the lettering 'El mas grande', Spanish for 'the largest'.  

A.S. Roma (home shirt)

A.S. are officially 'sticking it to the man' by wearing an unbranded kit this season following a legal dispute with manufactures Kappa over alleged quality and distribution issues. A fantastic looking kit which has gone a little bit old school with a textbook collar with Roman numerals on the back. However the modern ying to the old school yang on this kit is that the club emblem is 3D! Not quite sure what that adds... but I'm impressed.

That concludes my top 6! Italy is once again dominating the fashion scene, with 3 teams included in my elusive list. It is also quite apparent that I prefer plain/classic kits compared to multicoloured monstrosities. What is a slight concern is that there is no representatives from the 'Best League in the World'™, I'm expecting much better kits for the Premier League next season. No pressure.